It’s a reflection of their own limitations..

It can be difficult to not take it personally when an abuser or neglector cannot admit their mistakes, especially if they are people we were close to at one time. But it's not personal. Many abusers simply do not have the egoic strength to face what they ahve done. Because of whateer traumas they have endured in their own lives, they have never developed the structural foundation necessary to absorb their shame. Without a measure of psychological intactness, it is very difficult for them to acknowledge theif fragmented parts. This is not to excuse their behaviour, nor to deny its effects, but only to acknowledge that their ability to take responsbility is theirs and theirs alone. It is not something to personalise, to wait for, or to let delay your healing. It is a reflection of their own limitations. - Jeff Brown, Hearticulations