There is a time to rescue another, and a time to turn our attention to ourselves. Years ago, I was confronted with a situation with a friend who had spiraled, yet again, into a drug and homelessness trip. It had happened many times before, and I had always put my life on hold to rescue them. This pattern had deep roots in my survivalist family history. This time, I contacted a spiritual teacher- Ram Dass - and he said the one thing that finally broke the back of this pattern: "The most you can do for all of us, is to become all you are meant to become." Both because of his words, and because of where I was at on my path, I was just ready to listen. And, so, for the first time, I stopped the rescue missions and got back to what called me. Years later, that same person overcame their challenges, and said: "There wasn't a thing you could have done for me, until I decided if I wanted to live, or die. You were wasting your time, and actually keeping me from the abyss I needed to confront in order to make that decision." Simply put, some of us don't want to be here and will inevitably find a way to leave. Others will choose to be here, but not until they are at the very end of their rope. Rescuing may be the perfect thing in one context, and the one thing that enables and perpetuates their suffering in another. Sometimes they need your help, and sometimes they need to be left alone to face the abyss. Sometimes they have a choice to make. Let them make it. - Jeff Brown