You are my blessing, Warren

Healthy relationships are not expectation sets. They are blessings. It’s one thing to expect things that are agreed to, but the moment we begin to expect things that have never been agreed to, we walk on dangerous ground. Because we have no right to expect anything that hasn’t been explicitly stated. If you want someone to meet your needs, they have to agree to that. If you want someone to be there for you when life gets difficult, they have to agree to that. If you want someone to behave a certain way, they have to agree to that. If they don’t, you can decide that they are no longer a blessing that you want in your life. But you can’t fault them for not being someone they haven’t agreed to. That was your story. Not theirs. Self-created expectations are the bane of healthy relationship, and take us farther away from the intimacy we seek. Fuck expectations. Better to let everyone decide for themselves how they wish to show up. - Jeff Brown