Many people spend their whole lives in waiting-for-validation prison, endlessly trying to gain the approval of others. Often birthed in their dynamics with invalidating parents (who themselves were invalidated), this disempowering pattern is a shame-fulfilling prophecy, one that leads us nowhere. Because even if people validate you, it won’t be enough. You will just go looking for it somewhere else. And that won’t get you anywhere either, because the issue isn’t validation. The issue is the mistaken belief that another human being can liberate you from your self-hatred. They can’t. Because they are trapped inside of the same prison. Under-validated people seeking validation from other under-validated people. An impossible cycle. A hopeless waste of energy.

Oh magnificent one, please stop seeking the approval of others. Don’t you see? You have already been approved. You have already passed the divine test. You’re here, for God’s sake! Your validation is within the heart of each breath. Breathe in—I am loved! Breathe out—I am loved… What will it take before we get it? - Jeff Brown