Excerpt of a post from a dear, and very eloquent friend that you need to take the time to read:

"And I had to say over and over again that I had absolutely nothing to fucking gain from speaking truth.

I had NOTHING TO GAIN. In our society, where we become tainted when someone forces themselves on us, and told we are “not remembering correctly” or that “we waited too long” to report, it is crystal clear that we have NOTHING TO GAIN BY REPORTING. No. We only stand to lose once again. We lose our privacy. We lose the right to feel in control of our own bodies. We lose the ability to look at the world head on instead of with our eyes downcast. We lose connections with people we love. We lose our reputations. We lose, over and over and over.

I spent decades holding onto this pain. Reframing it. Putting it away. Keeping it tidy. Not letting it continue to define me. Letting it go. Even, to some degree, finding forgiveness.

But do you know what’s fucked up? This pain, that’s so tidy and neat? It sometimes comes up out of nowhere and threatens to consume me. Just when I think I’m far enough away from it all, there it is. An ugly reminder that my life was altered, forever. He took something from me and replaced it with shame, fear, loathing, hatred, loss and pain. How does all of this look? Sometimes, it’s rage. Others, it’s just utter sadness. Most recently? It’s been fear.

Fear that we are setting a dangerously ugly stage for our children. Where we silence victims and allow people in power to rewrite their history. We are telling our children that rape is okay. We are telling our daughters that it’s their fault if someone takes their voice away. We are telling our sons to push even when someone says stop. We are telling our babies we don’t believe them when they come to us with their own stories of pain. We are giving people with money and power free passes. We are losing touch with human decency.

I want someone to wrap me up and tell me this isn’t true, but watching #metoo unfold, I wouldn’t believe it in a million years.