True that!

Top four pieces of advice from a guy's Nana: 1) "If something seems too good to be true... grab it quick before someone else takes it, it's your only chance at happiness. Quick, grab it you little shit, and get me one too!" 2) "You can please some of the people some of the time, and the rest can f**k right off!" 3) "Pay good money for your bed and your shoes, 'cause if you're not in one, you're in t'other". 4) "To laugh at others, you've to be able to laugh at yourself. If you can't do that, f**k off back home you fat bastard".