JR's note for men

ok look guys, quit keeping all the old crap in your house and car. seriously, throw that shite away! no one likes a messy car, kitchen, bathroom, or what ever. Have some respect for yourself and your MOTHER .... Clean up after yourself. what you do now reflects on what you mother taught you. if you want to be an attractive man there is more to it than looks. ever heard of a sense of humer? (that is for another time)

DUMP THIS SHITE, such as:

old shoes: "I need some river shoes" or "their work shoes" - bull crap! if you have more shoes than your feet then they are dog toys. or if you have more then your girl your in trouble. boys keep it down to 4-6 pairs. have some running shoes, boots, a few "kick-a-rounds", and some "sundy-go-to-meeting" shoes. and thats it.

old bills and reciepts - make sure they don't have SOC or Credit card #'s and TOSS'EM! come on what are you going to keep that crap for? you can't "write them off" now. its too late. . . Shred, Burn, piss on'em, whatever. keep one ONE ONE file cabnit for Car title's, contracts, birth certificates and such. THATS IT.

love letters: this one is tougher i know, 3 years of your life shouldn't fit in a shoe box. sad but true. - but old girlfriends are just that - OLD. if and when you get another girlfried, you better PRAY she don't find all the sappy shite that isn't addressed to her. besides who knows what kind of possitive therapeutic-ness-release it is to "Close" that chapter any way? in other words its GOOD for you. Keep one, ONE, thing (per gal) and make it "neutral", that is something personal to you only, and no one would know better (if you can't hang it on a wall for all to see, or post up on a shelf its too personal). Tip: buy a shredder as your next purchase. instead of another wallet or tie, or i pod.

clothes: look if your not wearing them now, you arn't going to wear them anyhow. and unless you work in construction... DONATE! Look, clothes are to protect your body from the elements (they can look flattering too) and are to be WORN, so wear'em. yes, to work too. look good all the time not just on your days off. besides, how many times have i heard this happen: "I can't go talk to her, i look like crap". LAME! girls don't give a damn about that any how. GIRLS WANT MEN! not wimpy little metro girly boys. (however, there are exceptions to that rule - thank GOD! or i would never get a date... wait i dont' get dates... tears). serious.

moving on...

dishes: oh sweet hevens! men we suck at this i know... but good God you can't let them pile up! its GROSS! it smells like cat piss! that aint right! look no one likes to do the dishes right when they are done eating. or when your tired and just got off work (note to women who might be reading this). but don't leave them in the sink for a month to dry and get nasty. let them soak in water (for a few hours) so when its time to clean they arn't crusty and destroyed. do your dishes while the commercial is on. or when your waiting for your microwaved stew. or while your clothes are in the dryer... but get them done! and put away! sheesh. This will help. instead of the mill-second it takes to leave your dishes in the sink. take 10 seconds and squirt some soap on a srubby and add water, scrub, rinse, and turn upside-down on a towl. and walk away... (here is a tip: keep two of each dish (pack the rest) and a few extra utensils, this will force you to clean when you need to use them. and help you form/break habits you had in the past - but have more when you have company)

bathrooms: Your bathroom must be clean too, others can judge how a kitchen is by the condition of your bathroom and vise-versa. DON'T leave shavings in the sink! and dried toothpast? how? ... put the toile- paper on the roll, not on the back of the toilet. that takes a mill-a-second while your using it! as far as the toilet seat... Personally, i think it should be UP all the time, and when a girl needs it She puts it down and back up when finished (this will stop all the imbarassing "spots" on the seat). or the compromise is close it all the way all the time. OR, men ... choose your battles. the little stuff really makes the women happy, we are not bothered by that simple stuff (a little dig on you girls). a huge tip: GET A TRASH CAN.

advice. if you can remember to be a bit more clean, this will help you feel more stable and give you "roots" to help in your decisions and in life in general. PLUS, when someone comes over you won't need to scramble about in embarrassment.

lastly: DUMP the PORN. No excuses. No compromise's, if you have a "collection"... well then you don't need to worry about getting a girlfriend, in fact just forget all the rest of what i wrote above.

JR is the frontman of Portland's band, The immortal.