OMG! You are fired!

It's official: M's fire Don Wakamatsu
Scapegoated in Seattle: Mariners give Don Wakamatsu the boot
Manager firing, triple play make for wild M’s day

It’s the first time something has gone according to plan in this wacky Mariners season, which has featured:

— Wakamatsu benching storied slugger Ken Griffey Jr.(notes) because he was hitting .200 without a home run, and then the franchise icon angrily driving away to Florida—but not informing the Mariners he was retiring until he was hours into his drive, almost out of the state.

— Outfielder Eric Byrnes(notes) inexplicably pulling his bat back on a suicide squeeze play to get a runner thrown out at home. A few minutes after that 2-0 loss in 12 innings to Texas, Byrnes drove out the clubhouse door on a beach cruiser bicycle and did a 90-degree left turn in a tunnel around startled general manager Jack Zduriencik. Byrnes was cut a few days later.

— Wakamatsu taking mercurial slugger Milton Bradley(notes) out of a May game and sending him into the clubhouse because Bradley was irate for striking out. Bradley left the stadium during the game, and then got pulled over by a traffic cop for speeding on his way home. He came in the next day to ask Wakamatsu and Zduriencik for help with emotional issues. Bradley spent two weeks in counseling and on the restricted list.

— Ace Cliff Lee(notes), the prized winter acquisition and presumed piece that would get Seattle to its first postseason since 2001, missing the first month of the season following an unsuccessful attempt to heal his strained abdomen with unproven blood-spinning treatment. Lee returned to dominate, only to be traded to division-rival Texas last month when the Mariners fell so far out of the AL West race.

— Chone Figgins(notes), whom Zduriencik signed to a $36-million, free-agent contract last winter, repeatedly clashing with Wakamatsu. The last time resulted in an in-game dugout fracas. There was shouting, pushing, players trying to jump over others to fight, and infielder Jose Lopez(notes) getting his shirt pulled over his back—all in front of half the home stadium and a national television audience. Figgins never apologized.

Monday, when approached following Wakamatsu’s firing, Figgins smiled, shook his head and politely said, “I’m not going to talk about it, man.”

— First baseman Russell Branyan(notes), the lone consistent threat to hit a home run on the worst offensive team in baseball, injured his foot recently when a table in his hotel room fell on it as he was trying to close curtains.

— And starting shortstop Jack Wilson(notes) slipped in his bathroom early Sunday and broke his right hand. He’s headed to surgery Wednesday and is likely out for the season.

Ichiro Suzuki(notes), Seattle’s perennial All-Star and cornerstone, called Wakamatsu’s firing “frustrating.”

“It’s not just his responsibility (that we’re losing). It’s the whole team’s responsibility,” Suzuki said through his interpreter. “I don’t think it’s fair to say the manager’s responsible to take the blame, because he’s not.”

Suzuki sees his Mariners back at square one, less than 12 months after Wakamatsu finished a revitalizing, 85-win season.

“That’s the only way we can look at it,” Suzuki said.