“God does not give you more than you can handle.” Really? Did you ask God yourself? Did she confirm your theory? Look, I get that sometimes we say stuff like this because we don’t know what else to say, or because we actually think it helps. We don’t want people to give up. We want them to keep on fighting to stay alive. But, honestly, it doesn’t help. Few survivalist mantras do. Because there is more to life than survival at all costs. There is more to life than armoring up and toughing it out in the heart of our suffering. There is also something to be said for healing our way to wholeness. For meeting each other in our woundedness. For embracing the possibility that our trauma is actually a lot more than we handle. So, next time you feel tempted to tell a trauma survivor, “God does not give you more than you can handle,” try something different. Say this, “Something tragic has happened. You should not have to handle it alone. How can I help you to grieve and to heal?” Remind them that God is a soft place to land. Remind them that God is compassion in human form. - JEFF BROWN