It's easy to personalize family dysfunction. We come from them, after all. It's hard to distinguish what is ours, from what is theirs—where do I end, where does the other begin? This is particularly true if we haven’t properly individuated or developed healthy boundaries—something difficult to do in an enmeshed family. The big mistake that many of us make is going back to the same toxic family well over and over again, looking for our answers there. Sometimes it happens—like in those rare instances where other family members are simultaneously ready to wake up—but it is often just a self-perpetuating trauma trip, one that merely deepens our confusion and pain. As difficult as it can be to break the habit, we have to stop looking toward that which wounded us for our healing. Some family systems are simply too broken to be mended. Perhaps it is time to soak in a new wellspring, one that honors us just as we are. Swimming in an ocean of hope, with the next family that calls to us on the journey home. - Jeff Brown