Carrying a seed of hope...

We often pick partners that reflect our unresolved issues with our parents. Sometimes this works out well, particularly when both partners choose to consciously work through the material and grow together. But sometimes, it's an absolutely impossible dream-team, because the same characteristics that made the parent-child dynamic impossible are still present. The idea that we can shift ourselves or the other to finally make that kind of dynamic fruitful is simply untrue. Sometimes it is what it is, and our best chance of a healthy love relationship is to pick someone completely unlike the impossible parent. The therapeutic movement has to be careful to not make the assumption that every trigger-filled relationship is worhty of our time. Just because stuff comes up to work with, doesn't mean that it's worthy of our time. Stuff will come up in healthier connection too, but that stuff carries a seed of hope. - Jeff Brown, Hearticulations.